everyday things… or “how i lose motivation”

Hello 🙂 I have been very excited to keep working on the remaining six songs, since releasing the first one on Sunday…however this is where life gets me.

I took on a few extra gigs this week – both outside of my comfort zone, one for kids (2 hour-long sets at the GRCM) and one for adults at a brewery (3 hours of music, including lots of covers).  While I’m excited about both, the time involved in prep for these is far more than my original 30-45 sets at more traditional music venues.  So I’m putting my enthusiasm on hold.

If I’m honest, this has happened A LOT on my life and recording career.  Like I get so excited to work, but the real world – i.e. things with deadlines or pay or that are strong expectations from others – take precedent and bump my work to the side.

Sometimes it’s as simple as a timely comment from someone I value…like “why are you recording another album already?”  And it’ll be enough to make me question and wonder about my strange prolific process, and think there are other things I “should” be doing.

I seem to be happiest when I treat this like a very time-consuming but very joy-filled hobby.

And when I keep my schedule open enough to really make time for it.

But historically, saying NO to anything has been nearly impossible for me.

Half the reason I introvert so fiercely is probably because if you remove yourself from the center of things, groups, relationships, etc – then fewer people ask things of you.  And when fewer people ask things of you, there’s much less to say NO to.

Sooooo maybe you relate?  I promised myself I would share the nitty-gritty of this process…and I am feeling anxious today because of Too Many Things.  And I want them all to go well.  But the one LOUDLY singing its song in my heart is HEY JESS, GET BACK UP IN THE STUDIO AND LAY DOWN ALL THOSE EXTRA PARTS YOU MADE UP IN THE CAR YESTERDAY! 🙂 🙂 🙂 (I listen back while driving, and ‘hear’ other parts in my head…it’s best to go to the studio soon after and add em while excited, otherwise they pile up and it starts to become an overwhelming monster of ‘slated’ work…plus that feeling of not prioritizing myself and this music starts to eat away at it, til I feel discouraged and sad, and that feeling in the studio is gross…)

Maybe after this gig tomorrow morning.  And practice tomorrow night for Sunday’s gig.  So Thursday.  I’m committing to Thursday 🙂  xoxo Jessica

p.s. if you have kids and live in GR, tomorrow at 11am and 1pm I’ll be singing a kid-friendly set (twice, same set!) at the Grand Rapids Children’s Museum!!  So excited for this…the last time I played a kid-friendly set was the morning of Ladyfest at GH ArtWalk, and it became one of the top five performing experiences of my life, which is saying a lot cuz I’m probably up to 500+ shows by now. ❤ ❤ ❤ See you tomorrow!  Cover songs will include rainbows.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s